In July, 2007, our unraveling began. Our daughter, Kylee was 16 months old and baby Trevor was just 5 weeks when we moved into our 1983 home.
This house seemed nearly perfect. It was in the school district we wanted, the house was on a 3/4 of an acre corner lot and sat on not one, but two, cul de sacs. The neighborhood was quiet and less than 1/2 mile from the school.
We could only afford a fixer upper in this highly desirable area of town. And given it was still in the midst of the “boom,” the house came at a hefty price; even for a fixer upper.
I was the first to become sick. It started with stomach pains and eventually became very painful diarrhea. As time went on, the pain just got worse. And the diarrhea more frequent. Ian had to go into work late at least 3 days a week as I was so sick. I remember sitting on the toilet, cold sweat dripping down my face as I wrapped myself in a bath towel to try to stay warm. Feeling cold always made it worse.
Kylee was incredibly hyperactive. Her stomach pains started no long after mine. I told the pediatrician that she kept complaining of a tummy ache. The doctor sent us to a gastroenterologist. The GI did a colonoscopy and endoscopy and blood food allergy tests. I clearly remember his words to me when we got the results. He told me that there was nothing wrong with her. He told me she was faking it. My heart sunk. At that time I did not feel the anger at him saying that that I do now. One thing I have learned in this journey; kids don’t “fake it.” Ever. Doctors need to get this out of their mind that a 2 year old would lie about pain. A 15 year old wanting to skip out on school? Sure. Bring on the “flu” with holding a thermometer under a light to show a fever. But a 2 year old?
I took Kylee back to the pediatrician so many times with continued stomach pain. And eventually the pediatrician told me to ignore it and she’d stop talking about it. With no where left to go and with no doctor believing me, we ignored her. And “it” went away. A couple of years later, we learned that the pain never went away; just the complaining. Breaks my heart every time I think of that.
Trevor was a truly perfect baby. At first. By the time he was just over 1, he was a mess. He cried all the time. He was fussy, angry, inconsolable. He started having major temper tantrums. At first, we thought it was very early terrible 2’s. But it just kept getting worse. I remember having to put him in the car seat and just drive and drive. He just would not stop crying. He would have these meltdowns that would last over an hour of screaming and throwing things and banging his head on the floor. The same pediatrician that told me to ignore Kylee’s stomach pains complaints told me “Oh yes, I had a difficult kid too. He’ll grow out of it.” Needless to say, I don’t see that doctor anymore. When Trevor was 3, he told us that he felt like he was dying. A THREE year old felt like he was DYING. But I get ahead of myself.
When Trevor was about 13 months, I found out I was pregnant. Surprise! I cried. And cried. And cried. This was not part of the plan.